The Birth of Keiran Oliver

On February 2nd 2008 I was walking around Wal-Mart more that 2 weeks "late" when it all of a sudden hit me that the next day I would have my baby

I awoke around 3am to some middle of the road contractions. The pain was manageable, but I did have to pause with each contraction. I went into the living room to eat and roll around on the birth ball. I would roll my belly over the big white ball taking deep breaths and saying words of encouragement to myself. "You are strong." "You can do this."

At some point Josh turned on the cd player and lit some candles. He knows I want to be left alone while I labor so he doesn't hover. He just occasionally asks me if I need anything and encourages me to drink plenty of fluids.

The kids are awake by now and watching a cartoon, when it hits me that I am overstimulated! I quickly retreat to my bedroom and shut the door. No candles, no music. Just me squatting on my unmade bed.

The contractions are pretty intense now and I'm rocking back and forth during them. I don't time them, but I know they're getting closer together.

I stare at my birth altar, and all the beautiful gifts my friends gave me at my Mother Blessing. I look at all the goddesses I have painted and some others have painted for me. I read through my birth affirmations and read aloud the Trust Birth initiative. I am strong, I am in pain and I am doing this!

My friend Katie made me a beautiful birth affirmation poster and I focused on the words. "My body was made to give birth." "My body was made to give birth." " I am strong." I am strong." "Each rush of birth energy is an interesting sensation requiring my complete attention" "interesting sensation.....?" Interesting sensation my ASS! It hits me then that the bedroom is too large and I feel exposed. I quickly retreat to my tiny bathroom and jump in the shower. The hot water feels good on my belly and lower back.

I squat and swirl my hips. I sing to the baby and at one point tell it if it comes out in the next hour I'll buy he or she a car when they're 16. I will not be buying that car.

The hot water runs out and I make my way to the second most comfortable spot, the toilet. I spend the next few hours taking turns laboring on the toilet and in the shower.

I occasionally get out and crawl on the floor. I'm amazed at how animalistic I feel. I'm like a lioness. I arch my back with each contraction and curve it down as they let up.

Things are getting intense now! Josh is coming in occasionally to bring me juice and spoon fulls of honey. I'm in the shower and and I quickly open the door. I tell him, "I can't fucking do this anymore!" Then I promptly throw up.

The hot water once again runs out and I'm sitting on the toilet. The contractions are almost violent now. They force my body to move and I feel a certain loss of control, but I'm not afraid. Never at any point was I afraid. My water still hadn't broken and I was thinking I still had a long ways to go. My first 2 labors had been 20+ hours and I was only about 81/2 hours into this one.

All of a sudden I began to feel pushy. I let my body do what it wants, but I still think it will be a while and then I realize my body is really pushing!

I throw myself onto the ground and I yell for Josh, he doesn't come. I yell again, he still doesn't come. I remember thinking, "that jack ass is playing drums!" I'm not afraid, but I don't want him to miss it.

I slowly feel the pressure as the baby crowns. My water had broke at some point and I didn't even notice it! Just like my other births I feel no "ring of fire." The head is completely out when Josh comes in. ( He was putting the kids in my parents car and didn't hear me.) I am in a kneeling position sort of like I'm proposing but my right leg is out to the side. My legs began to shake, but not out of nervousness it's just something I do during labor. Josh tells me I'm shaking the baby. I realize I'm actually going to have to push to get this baby out. My other 2 had just slipped out, but this one just stayed put. I panic for a brief second and tell Josh, " I can't do this!" He just looks at me and says, "yes you can." I give one good push and Keiran Oliver slips in to my hands. He is super slippery and Josh has to help me hold onto him. He has hardly any vernix and his cord is wrapped around one shoulder sort of like tarzan. He pinks up and begins to cry almost immediately.

I try to nurse him, but he's not interested yet. We make our way to the bed and lay down. I start to feel weird and my bleeding is pretty heavy so we decide to call a midwife friend and get her opinion. She comes over and helps us remedy the problem. We ask her to weigh the baby. 9 lbs even, my biggest baby!

She helps me clean up, because like my other births I somehow managed to get covered in blood! After a while she leaves and the 3 of us snuggle up in bed. Keiran is nursing and I'm tired. I feel amazing and powerful. I am in awe at my body's ability.