In conclusion

Well our week of yes is over. I learned a lot this week. First of all saying yes did NOT make my life harder. It made it easier. It wasn't perfect and it wasn't a cure all for my problems with R, but it definitely didn't make things worse. I realized that I say no out of habit and without really thinking about it. My goal is to really think before I say yes or no from now on.

Day 4

Yesterday we had playgroup and I had coffee night so it was a pretty easy day. We were busy and well entertained.

I've noticed it's very hard for me to always say yes to R. He's not the most pleasant child, and I tend to shy away from doing activities with him. Sometimes I feel lost as to what to do about R. He has a big heart and he's not bad, but he is so obnoxious it's hard to comprehend! He's exhausting. I sometimes feel that having him at home is not a good thing. I could/would never send him to school, but in all honesty our days are easier when he's not around:(.

Day 3

R loves to light candles! The kid can't get enough of it. This was another one of those things that I always said no to. Now I see the benefit of letting him light the candles. It builds up his confidence and it encourages responsibility.

I'm noticing the kids are playing together better than usual today. I feel that by saying yes and not sweating the small things I am taking away a lot of stress from their lives and my own. It is much more stressful to have a kid upset over not being able to light candles than it is to actually help that child light the candles!

Day 2

Yesterday was stressful. Not so much because of our experiment this week, but just in general. R can have a very obnoxious personality and he can make the days stressful. I try to step back and figure out WHY he does the things he does, bur at times I can't find a reason for his behavior.

We went grocery shopping which is always a tense activity, but we did pretty well. I was afraid my grocery bill would be through the roof since I planned on saying yes to all the kids requests. Surprisingly it wasn't too bad and contrary to popular belief my kids didn't just by junk food!

E baked and decorated cupcakes and she even plans on starting a blog about all the stuff she makes.

We played lots of games including I Spy and Yes or NO.

I went to bed last night feeling pretty stressed. I realized this morning however that the stress was not caused by my kids as much as it was by the way I process things.

Day 1

Yesterday was our first day of "The Week of Yes." It was fairly uneventful. We just stayed home and played games and watched movies.

We played a math bingo which used addition and subtraction. R got this game for Christmas and has been wanting to play it for a long time. I've resisted for various reasons, but yesterday we just went for it. We had fun and did some math at the same time.

We watched a couple of movies including the "Simpson's Movie" and "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs."

The kids also made some stuff out of sculpey. R made a puppy complete with a water and food bowl. E made a bright red bird.

It was a pretty uneventful day, but I noticed we had less meltdowns and that R was more likely to play on his own.

The Week of Yes

We are unschoolers so the word no isn't heard as much in our house as others. When you learn by living you have to actually be able to live! However recently the word no has been said a lot around here. Sometimes with good reason, like when I just can't afford something. However there's been a lot of no's just because I've been too tired/lazy to say yes or find an alternate solution to whatever it is the kids need or want.

So, I've decided to have a week of Yes. I need to start out small, so just a week for now.

I'm going to say yes to everything! The only time I will say no is if is too expensive or dangerous and I absolutely can not find an alternate solution.

I'm going to post daily to let everyone know how things are going.

The Birth of Keiran Oliver

On February 2nd 2008 I was walking around Wal-Mart more that 2 weeks "late" when it all of a sudden hit me that the next day I would have my baby

I awoke around 3am to some middle of the road contractions. The pain was manageable, but I did have to pause with each contraction. I went into the living room to eat and roll around on the birth ball. I would roll my belly over the big white ball taking deep breaths and saying words of encouragement to myself. "You are strong." "You can do this."

At some point Josh turned on the cd player and lit some candles. He knows I want to be left alone while I labor so he doesn't hover. He just occasionally asks me if I need anything and encourages me to drink plenty of fluids.

The kids are awake by now and watching a cartoon, when it hits me that I am overstimulated! I quickly retreat to my bedroom and shut the door. No candles, no music. Just me squatting on my unmade bed.

The contractions are pretty intense now and I'm rocking back and forth during them. I don't time them, but I know they're getting closer together.

I stare at my birth altar, and all the beautiful gifts my friends gave me at my Mother Blessing. I look at all the goddesses I have painted and some others have painted for me. I read through my birth affirmations and read aloud the Trust Birth initiative. I am strong, I am in pain and I am doing this!

My friend Katie made me a beautiful birth affirmation poster and I focused on the words. "My body was made to give birth." "My body was made to give birth." " I am strong." I am strong." "Each rush of birth energy is an interesting sensation requiring my complete attention" "interesting sensation.....?" Interesting sensation my ASS! It hits me then that the bedroom is too large and I feel exposed. I quickly retreat to my tiny bathroom and jump in the shower. The hot water feels good on my belly and lower back.

I squat and swirl my hips. I sing to the baby and at one point tell it if it comes out in the next hour I'll buy he or she a car when they're 16. I will not be buying that car.

The hot water runs out and I make my way to the second most comfortable spot, the toilet. I spend the next few hours taking turns laboring on the toilet and in the shower.

I occasionally get out and crawl on the floor. I'm amazed at how animalistic I feel. I'm like a lioness. I arch my back with each contraction and curve it down as they let up.

Things are getting intense now! Josh is coming in occasionally to bring me juice and spoon fulls of honey. I'm in the shower and and I quickly open the door. I tell him, "I can't fucking do this anymore!" Then I promptly throw up.

The hot water once again runs out and I'm sitting on the toilet. The contractions are almost violent now. They force my body to move and I feel a certain loss of control, but I'm not afraid. Never at any point was I afraid. My water still hadn't broken and I was thinking I still had a long ways to go. My first 2 labors had been 20+ hours and I was only about 81/2 hours into this one.

All of a sudden I began to feel pushy. I let my body do what it wants, but I still think it will be a while and then I realize my body is really pushing!

I throw myself onto the ground and I yell for Josh, he doesn't come. I yell again, he still doesn't come. I remember thinking, "that jack ass is playing drums!" I'm not afraid, but I don't want him to miss it.

I slowly feel the pressure as the baby crowns. My water had broke at some point and I didn't even notice it! Just like my other births I feel no "ring of fire." The head is completely out when Josh comes in. ( He was putting the kids in my parents car and didn't hear me.) I am in a kneeling position sort of like I'm proposing but my right leg is out to the side. My legs began to shake, but not out of nervousness it's just something I do during labor. Josh tells me I'm shaking the baby. I realize I'm actually going to have to push to get this baby out. My other 2 had just slipped out, but this one just stayed put. I panic for a brief second and tell Josh, " I can't do this!" He just looks at me and says, "yes you can." I give one good push and Keiran Oliver slips in to my hands. He is super slippery and Josh has to help me hold onto him. He has hardly any vernix and his cord is wrapped around one shoulder sort of like tarzan. He pinks up and begins to cry almost immediately.

I try to nurse him, but he's not interested yet. We make our way to the bed and lay down. I start to feel weird and my bleeding is pretty heavy so we decide to call a midwife friend and get her opinion. She comes over and helps us remedy the problem. We ask her to weigh the baby. 9 lbs even, my biggest baby!

She helps me clean up, because like my other births I somehow managed to get covered in blood! After a while she leaves and the 3 of us snuggle up in bed. Keiran is nursing and I'm tired. I feel amazing and powerful. I am in awe at my body's ability.